GH787: Fix ALPN

* Perform ALPN after the SNI callback; the SSL_CTX may change due to
  that processing
* Add flags to indicate that we actually sent ALPN, to properly error
  out if unexpectedly received.
* clean up ssl3_free() no need to explicitly clear when doing memset
* document ALPN functions

Signed-off-by: Rich Salz <rsalz@openssl.org>
Reviewed-by: Emilia Käsper <emilia@openssl.org>